I am a traveler. I am both fascinated and offended by people who have never been on a plane. I have a very clear memory of being a teeny tiny toddler and not being able to walk on a plane due to the movement so I just got on all fours and crawled. One of the most exciting things for me ever is going through "the tunnel". You know, the part that connects the airport terminal with the plane? So much excitement in so little square footage! There are very few places I don't want to go and there are very few I really, really want to go to...anything else falls in the category of "give me an excuse and I'm there". Chicago is one of my very few places I really want to go to.
It's no secret that Frank has been one of my favorites since the first night. But, I knew at some point, his bipolar tendencies would get to me, as I suspected they'd get to her. I'm not sure what's going on this season, but the producers aren't doing too great of a job of relaying these "connections" Ali has with the guys. Maybe it's as Valk says -- she is the one who isn't really ready to connect or open up, despite all her proclamations. I mean, I know she's into Frank, but she makes some pretty bold statements to him that make me wonder what I missed. Here's the thing: I think Frank is right to be reserved. Frank has said repeatedly that when he marries, it's just once and it's forever. While you can hear that and think, "ho ho ho, what youthful optimism!", after meeting his family, I can see he means it and don't think she should be the one to take that away from him.
She has no idea what she wants. At first, she wanted to find true love with Jake. Then she left Jake because she couldn't take such a chance and risk her "career". Then , she changed her mind and wanted back on for Jake. Then, she was happy she stuck it out with Facebook. And then, she became the Bachelorette. And she still doesn't seem to know what she wants. All that is ok for anyone. But not at the expense of others' dreams and goals. I felt this way when she was on her hometown date with Chris and it became clear to me now with Frank, too. Maybe because those are the two poor schmucks who really have the most to lose should they not be the final one. Shit, even despite being the final one, we all know the track record of the Bachelorette and well, at some point common sense has to kick in. I get betting on the horse, but not when the horse has never ever won the fucking race, man...
This hometown with Frank, I didn't pick up on his manic depressiveness as much as I picked up on his hesitation. And I applaud him for that. Because it isn't about who is standing on top of a mountain with a gorgeous blue-green sea behind them while cotton candy clouds float above at just the moment that seagulls are doing Blue Angels-type formations on the "Final Rose". It's about forever. It's definitely about forever for Chris and Frank. The other two - Kirk and Roberto - meh. Not so much.
What can I say? His family was pretty "amazing"...hahahahaha! No, really, they were super duper fabulous. I loved his dad. I've got dad issues. But his mom was awesome, too and Ali did seem to fit right in. I mean, if it were me, I'd be a tad bit concerned that he's the manager at the GAP although I'd be secretly coveting my Banana Republic discounts, but would it be a deal breaker? Maybe not, depending on the reality of his long term goals. It's not about the money, but it is about security. When money problems are always in the top 1-2 spots for reasons for divorce, you'd be silly not to think about how are you guys going to make it happen. Whenever we would tell my mom about a guy we liked (and this started with the very first guy we liked), she used to always ask "A que dedica su tiempo libre?" which translates to "what does he do with his spare time?". It was always an annoying question because what she wanted to know was did he have aspirations to be the next big doctor or lawyer, but to a certain extent, she was right. FTR, I did not marry a doctor or a lawyer and have never dated anyone who was oozing with money, but I did marry someone who had conviction, drive, and WORK ETHIC. So that's really what I'm talking about. Work ethic. Is Frank still content with backpacking France and living in hostels while he pursues his screenwriting hobby or is he going to get things done? But really, those should be her concerns and regardless of the answer to her concerns, I still think Frank should RUN. Run, Frank, run!!
I see a lot of myself in Frank. Yes, ladies, I am totally manic depressive. Hahahahaha! It isn't because I am really, I don't think -- but it is because Ray and I speak different love languages. Now, I'm not talking about some new age hippie self help book -- I'm simply talking about the way we express ourselves and interpret loving acts are completely different. And that is a hard (not impossible) wall to come up against constantly. So, what happens? You do get that need for consistent reassurance. And it probably does get annoying. But it isn't going to change for many years to come because I suspect all that gets easier with the years you commit to learning how to communicate. As perfect as they all seemed, my vote is a no for Frank and Ali.
Alright, let me pause for a moment before getting to the Rose Ceremony to vent. Was anyone else absolutely floored and insulted that she literally brought "wine from Portugal" to each and every fucking family?! I'm really big on individuality and if I was any of these families, I would call up Kirk's dad and have her fucking head taxidermied for having the audacity to do one bundle gift to each and every one of them, I don't care how good the wine from Portugal is. The fact that while in Portugal and on her date with Chris, Ali asked if his family liked wine and then said she would be taking THEM wine as a gift for the hometown only amped up the insulting factor by like a GAZILLION. Ugh!
How about the kissing? Four hometown dates in one week. I've dated four guys at the same time before. But none of them on the same level of seriousness and even without that same level of seriousness, I don't think I saw them all in one week and definitely didn't swap spit with all of them in that one week either. I would just be totally weirded out by the whole thing. It weirded me out watching her do it. I'm also a lot like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (no, not getting paid to have sex part-- the kissing part) and so spit swapping is really intimate, but still. Ew.
The Rose Ceremony. Forget who you think she was going to send home, who do you guys feel needed to go home? I definitely felt it was Kirk. And not because I don't like him. Simply because it is a little weird that he's never had his heart broken. It is a little weird that he doesn't bring girls home. I mean, it's flattering to be the first girl a guy brings home when you're in ummm, say, 10th grade? But at 27? Not so much. I get he went through a lot with his cancer (did he have leukemia?), but even that tells me they aren't really a good fit. Ali can be deep and down to Earth and all those wonderful things, but she would not be human if she didn't secretly wonder if he was going to come out of remission at some point. This didn't happen years ago, it was recent. There just seemed to be too much baggage at the same time that there didn't seem to be enough.
But you know, I don't have the greatest amount of faith in Ali so I for sure thought she was going to say bye to Roberto or Chris, which I was prepared for. I almost feel she should say goodbye to Roberto. And not worry for a second that someone more fitting isn't going to snatch him up before she can blink. But he's YOUNG. And he's had a pretty exciting life. I used to date a minor leaguer once and I can't even tell you the amount of pussy those guys get. There are serious groupies who just hang out at each and every game and they get laid DAILY. I promise. No, really, I do, because this guy was nowhere near as cute as Roberto (well, maybe he was) and he would call me to set up a date WHILE there was some chic riding him in his hotel room. I wish I were kidding. And he isn't the exception. His loser friend had the same treatment. So, let's do the math... He went to U of Tampa and presumably graduated from there (although that is a presumption, but why would he want to hang out at the school he never got a degree from?) so that makes him 22 and then he spent at least 1-2 years playing in the minors so that makes him 24, then another year to get back to real life, 25 and now he's how old? 26. I just looked it up. He's 26 years old. Yeah. Run, Roberto, RUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
She continues to be hesitant about Chris and I think Valk is 100% correct. She's hesitant about herself. So, personally, Chris needs to run. Because he really deserves nothing less and shouldn't settle for anything other than this soulmate love his father talks about. You can make love happen. You really can. I used to date a guy who didn't believe in soulmates. He pretty much felt that when a guy was ready he could pick a girl - any girl - and make it work. I was young and naive and oh so offended at that thought. But, he was right. He really was. And he was healthy. There's a lot to be said about such a practical view on love. It should be no surprise that after years of waiting for his soulmate to come back, he went on one date, got the girl pregnant and is now married with 2 kids. Is he through the roof happy? I don't know personally but I hear he is not. But, his life is practical. Practicality wins every time, ladies.
Gosh, I'm feeling cynical this morning!! For the record, I do think it's possible to be with your soulmate and be practical as well. But I also believe we have soul paths much more than soulmates so now my definition of soulmate is ending up with who you were supposed to be with on your path in life rather than this cosmic connection that is bigger than anything else. I think both can exist. I think both can be healthy. And I think once in a while, those two collide. Which is magical. Hence, Chris' dad and mom.
So, going in to the Rose Ceremony, my bets were on Roberto because he looked really disheveled and that's always a sign of the guy who's going home, or Frank. Frank because I felt she'd gotten fed up with the neediness.
Despite my disgust for his full body blushing, I cried when she sent Kirk home. I could never ever be the Bachelorette because a) I'm married and b) I could never break up with so many someones. I am the most in your face person you will probably ever meet, but I am the most passive aggressive breaker upper ever. I will do things to get you to dump me, but I just can't bring myself to pull the trigger. So, I think I was crying for her. It can't be easy. I was also crying for him but in a hopeful way. He doesn't see that this is the beginning of true love for him because as sad as it is, you do need to have your heart broken a few times to learn how to love. Ugh...I just typed that and thought of my boys and my stomach turned. I'll kill the bitch who breaks their heart...
So, final 3 in Tahiti are Roberto, Chris and Frank. I don't like her for any of them, but I think the one who would recover the easiest is Roberto so I'm hoping she picks him in the end.
