I know, I know...I've been lost. I can't even tell you what it's been like at my house and quite frankly, the last 2 episodes before home visits weren't funny at all. BOH-RING!
First, let me say right now that I have not finished watching last night's episode. I am two parting it and thus, two parting this blog. Woo hoo! But, I needed to comment right here and right now.
Where do I start? Well, aside from the fact that I really do.not.like Ali, I will start with first hometown date and Robertoh! Wooooo hooooooooooo, Robertoooooooooooooooooooo! Listen, Ali, you are not the only one who thinks a man in a baseball uniform is the sexiest thing EVAH! I really don't know what you've got, Ali, that has this small group of seemingly fabulous men so hooked on you. I just don't see it. But anyway.
Umm, Roberto's family was soooo the typical hispanic family. I am almost certain that he is NOT Cuban, but it was so eerily familiar- the entire scene (minus the lasagna they had for dinner). Here's the thing: it's really hard for a white girl to infiltrate and not feel threatened. Shit, it's hard for a non-carribean hispanic girl to infiltrate and not feel threatened. Did you notice how Roberto, Sr. started the talk? He said to her there was no doubt in his mind that she had a pretty AMAZING guy and he wanted to know what SHE was bringing to the table. And that folks, is it right there...
You probably don't realize it, but in a lot of families, it's thought that the woman will now somehow "complete" the situation and nope, not for Roberto's family (or Ray's for that matter). They are blessed to be viewed as the "perfect sons", so really, there isn't anything that can tamper with perfection. The incoming woman then is only viewed in terms of how she won't negatively impact the son. It isn't as cynical as I am making it seem, but, it's still exactly how I am describing it.
Which is why his father had such a problem with her stressing the importance of her career and of HER happiness in order to make HIM happy. I mean, that's all good and fine in theory, but at the end of the day, what are you going to do for your man to make sure he's happy? Because if you do for him, he does for you. This is a lesson the hispanic community understands, but it seems the "American" community is in constant struggle with. You know, woman's right's and shit. It is best summed up like this: My husband is the King of my world and I treat him as such willingly as much as he demands to be treated so. The flip side is that since he is the King, make no mistake about it-- I am the Queen and I get treated as such. You'd be hardpressed to find a wife married to a happy hispanic that isn't pretty happy herself. It's really a pretty cool deal as long as you take the "feminist" struggles out of it.
Anyway, I'm rambling. My gut feeling is basically that while Roberto and Ali have a really, really good connection and seem really happy together, they will live a life of struggle. She may pick him in the end, but she will never be happy. And neither will he.
Let's fast forward to Hometown Date 2. And he's the reason I need to write today. I am so sad after watching that date! I felt so much for him and his family and was just a mess. I feel like she doesn't get how amazing he is and how amazing they all are and how, in the end, they are really the perfect fit for her. She doesn't have the same connection she has with Roberto, that's for sure. But if what she wants is happiness...if what she wants is career...if what she wants is to be the one in charge (which is what I gather), then what she wants is Chris.
I swear, I could have taken his dad home with me. I had a lot of emotion over that episode and I'm not sure why. Maybe it was all the soulmate talk. If you compare the two, you'll see what I'm talking about. Chris' dad was very excited about what Ali would bring to the family...he felt that was part of her role. He felt she would help complete and heal. Chris probably feels the same way. That's something she'll never ever get with Roberto's family and maybe she'll always feel she isn't ever good enough.
I don't doubt it.
1 comment:
Oh my god, i was thinking about you last night and wondering what you thought of the gringa colliding with the Latin la familia culture. I think she's all wrong for Roberto for just that reason--this supposed career ambition of hers. Um, no. Wrong answer. Wrong priority. LA FAMILIA. You can have a nice cute little job if you want, but you better not think for a second your Latin husband is going to follow *you* around. That's not how it works.
Honestly, she just looked awkward and all wrong there, even though she claimed she fell so in love with them.
Chris's family. I totally fell in love with them. TOTALLY. Perfect family, perfect house, perfect location, even the freakin' dog! She looked like she belonged there for sure. But I'll bet you anything she won't go for it because she's a dumbass and she has issues.
I told Daniel if I were her, they would not have been able to drag me out of that house. I would have been all, "Nnnoooooooooo. I'm stayin'!" *I'm* going to move in with Chris's family. And yeah, I think Chris would just let her do whatever the fuck she wants. Which is probably why she won't go for him. I sense she prefers unavailable men in spite of all of her complaining about how Chris doesn't open up to her. It's the opposite. She's not open to having an authentic, committed relationship.
I don't like her either. Because she's an idiot.
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